Thursday, July 24, 2014


     I am probably the most jealous person you will ever meet. I've never had much so I often find myself consumed by jealous thoughts. I get so angry that other people have so much when I have so little. I'm not angry at the person exactly just angry that their luck and fortune couldn't be distributed a little more evenly. 
    When I'm jealous of something ,which is almost all of the time, I am super obsessive about it. I can't think about anything else. I know it doesn't help but I can't stop it. It makes me more depressed then I already am. It makes it difficult to talk to some people or even just scroll down my instagram feed. 
      An example would a 13-year-old I followed on instagram (I didn't know she was 13 when I followed her). On Easter she got a couch full of presents. On Easter. My family could barely afford a chocolate bunny let alone presents like it was Christmas. And then her 13th birthday came around. She got a mac book pro and a canon t3i among other things. All I had gotten for my 17th birthday was $100. And It sent me into a fit. I couldn't believe that I had such a crappy birthday and then this little girl got everything I dreamed about. I had to unfollow this girl because I just couldn't watch while all this fortune was given to one girl. It just hurt  too much.
      I've been trying to tell myself that one day I'll live a life worth being jealous of and that I'm doing everything in my power to do that. I'm working part time right now and I'm going to college in the fall so that I can make a good life for myself. Its helping a lot to remember all of that when I'm in a jealous fit.

     So that was a little bit about my major jealousy problem. I hope you know me a little better now. If you have any suggestions for posts please leave them in the comments.

See you next time <3,

1 comment:

  1. So, I'm sure that 13 year old has major issues and no one who (actually) loves her. Life isn't about things... but people, family and love. I'm sure you recognize that by now since I'm super late on commenting on this. You should post about things you ARE grateful for (not material things) ... and I will too.