Thursday, July 24, 2014


     I am probably the most jealous person you will ever meet. I've never had much so I often find myself consumed by jealous thoughts. I get so angry that other people have so much when I have so little. I'm not angry at the person exactly just angry that their luck and fortune couldn't be distributed a little more evenly. 
    When I'm jealous of something ,which is almost all of the time, I am super obsessive about it. I can't think about anything else. I know it doesn't help but I can't stop it. It makes me more depressed then I already am. It makes it difficult to talk to some people or even just scroll down my instagram feed. 
      An example would a 13-year-old I followed on instagram (I didn't know she was 13 when I followed her). On Easter she got a couch full of presents. On Easter. My family could barely afford a chocolate bunny let alone presents like it was Christmas. And then her 13th birthday came around. She got a mac book pro and a canon t3i among other things. All I had gotten for my 17th birthday was $100. And It sent me into a fit. I couldn't believe that I had such a crappy birthday and then this little girl got everything I dreamed about. I had to unfollow this girl because I just couldn't watch while all this fortune was given to one girl. It just hurt  too much.
      I've been trying to tell myself that one day I'll live a life worth being jealous of and that I'm doing everything in my power to do that. I'm working part time right now and I'm going to college in the fall so that I can make a good life for myself. Its helping a lot to remember all of that when I'm in a jealous fit.

     So that was a little bit about my major jealousy problem. I hope you know me a little better now. If you have any suggestions for posts please leave them in the comments.

See you next time <3,

Monday, July 21, 2014

My bucket list

I've lived a pretty boring life. That means I have a lot of things that I want to do. I thought I'd write a list of some things I would put on my bucket list.

  • ~Leave the country~ I've never even been to Canada. I don't even have a passport. I really want to visit Canada ,England and Ireland.
  • ~Become fluent in another language~I took french for 3 years and I know a tiny bit of ASL but I really want to become in a language.
  • ~Take a dance class~I may have a slight obsession with Irish dance and I want to start taking classes sometime during college.
  • ~Write a book~Part of the reason I started a blog was to write more. I'm not saying I want to be a professional writer or anything but I want to write a book about something.
  • ~Go to a music festival or convention~This is something I'm always extra jealous of when I see instagram pics. There really expensive but seem like a ton of fun.

So this was just a couple of things off the top of my head in no particular order. I thought of a ton or travel related things and I thought maybe one day I will write a completely travel related bucket list.

Well that's all for now and thanks for reading!

Till next time <3,

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Sorry For The Negativity

I really want to write about positive things ,but this summer hasn't really been positive. I've spent the whole thing worrying if I'm going to find a place to live before classes start at my community college. My whole summer has basically been that. I go to my part-time job and I come home and get on craigslist every day. It's been really depressing and it's made worse by when I'm on social media and I see a lot of my classmates going on trips and meeting there roommates. I just sit at home with nothing to do and a heart full of envy. I hope that once I find a place I'll be in a better mood and I can move past all this feeling sorry for myself. I want to have some fun experiences so I have positive things to blog about. Basically I'm sorry that can't come up with a positive post. Maybe you guys can help me by giving me some positive prompts in the comments. I'm really sorry guys. See you next time

Monday, July 14, 2014

A bit more about me.


       I'm sorry it has been a few days ,but here I am. Today I wanted to tell you guys something about myself so you can get to know me a little bit better.

A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome. If you don't know what that is it's a genetic condition were one of a girl's X chromosomes is damaged or missing. It has a lot of symptoms and some girls have a more severe case than others. The two symptoms that almost all TS girls have are infertility and short stature. I have a mild case and those are are pretty much the only two symptoms that I have (that I know of).

I got diagnosed when my mom and I decided that 17 was a little late for a late bloomer. I was so much shorter than the re st of my family that I was made fun of. When the doctor was trying to figure out what was wrong with me I had to go through like four or five rounds of blood work. At the very beginning the doctor thought I may be a boy on the inside. When I was given the final diagnosis I really wasn't that upset. I had decided that as long as I wasn't dying I was going to be fine. Some people may have freaked out when they found out that they can't have kids but I was alright, mostly because I've always been open to adoption.

Well that is my little thing on TS. Sorry if it wasn't very good. If you have any questions or suggestions for things you want me to talk about leave them in the comments. And ,I'll talk to you guys next time!


P.S. If you're wondering if that makes me a boy it doesn't

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Hello Everyone!


I'm Rickki and this is me trying to start a blog again. I'm a recent high school graduate who want to document things in her life. I also just want to do something. I really want to contribute something to the world. It might take a while to get to actually putting something of good value out into the world but I know if I keep working towards that I'll get there. And I hope you come along for the ride. 

See you next time,